Hacking and Tech Mischief

AirPOOT Express Remote Control Fart Machine

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I'm sure most of you have seen or been pranked by the Remote Control Fart Machine. It's a two piece toy that consists of a transmitter about the size of a car alarm key fob and a receiver unit that you turn on and hide somewhere in the vicinity of your intended victim. Then you simply wait for the right moment, press the button on the transmitter and the speaker plays a pre-recorded fart sound effect. Juvenile and amusing. I'm sure if Apple made a fart machine, it would be something to behold...

Here's how to make your own overpriced and overproduced, Apple-styled remote control fart machine. The tools you will need are as follows:

1 AirPort Express Base Station with AirTunes (USD$129) 1 Macally PodWave (IP-A111) Portable Stereo Speakers (USD$39.99) Mac OS X v10.3 or later (USD$129) 1 AirPort or AirPort Extreme-enabled computer ( iTunes version 4.6 or later (FREE)

All totaled, this almost entirely Apple produced remote control fart machine will set you back at least USD$896.99. That's almost as competitive in the fart machine market as the Apple Leather Case for iPod is in the iPod accessory market!!

Before you use the AirPOOT to toot your own flatulent horn, you will also need at least one "fart" sound effect in an audio format compatible with iTunes. There are many ways you might go about acquiring such sounds:

• You could visit CreateFarts.com and tailor-make an air brick for the occasion and have it emailed to you.
• There are sound effects CDs available with high quality, lowbrow effects on them. Get some and rip one off into iTunes.
• You could employ the use of iFart... yes, there is actually already a freeware application in release for the sole purpose of composing fart-like noises.
• Or, if you have no shame and nowhere else to turn, you could record your own "bottom blast" using Garage Band and a microphone you will never use again ...ever.

In any case, you will need at least one such sound effect. More is better, as it will afford you the option of choosing the right sound for the right occasion and will also allow the sounds to vary from poot to poot.

The Set-Up:

1. Load the AA battery into the Macally PodWave.
2. Connect the Macally PodWave to the AirPort Express using the stereo mini-jack on the base station.
3. Turn on the Macally PodWave.
4. Plug the AirPort Express into an appropriate wall outlet that is concealed, near your intended victim and within wireless signal range of the Mac you will be using to trigger the "sound effects".
5. Use the AirPort Admin Utility to create a new network. (consult your manual for details)
   
6. Open iTunes on your computer and choose your AirPOOT from the speakers pop-up menu in the lower right of the iTunes window.

Now, you need only wait until your victim is near the AirPOOT and the focus of attention, and then simply play one of your "fart" sound effects from iTunes. Don't be in too much of a rush though. The element of surprise is as important as any other part of a prank like this. You don't want to come crawling out from behind the filing cabinet where you've hidden the AirPOOT, then run to your MacBook Pro across the office and then cut the digital cheese all at once--it's too suspicious--you have to be subtle. Set up the AirPOOT and let it lie in wait for a while. Then spring the trap later in the day.

TIPS: Set up the AirPOOT in the Airport Admin Utility at home, in private, and then unplug the unit and bring it to the prank location and plug it in. It will remember its settings. You might want to set up the Airport Express with Password protection on just to prevent anyone else using the "AirPOOT" before its time has come to make itself known. It is also wise to note that once the prank is played, this USD$300 Fart Machine receiver unit may easily fall into the hands of your victim. Putting password protection in place may not ensure its return to you, it may not even prevent the unit from being used against you in the same manner, but it may just delay the retaliation, giving you opportunity to snatch the unit back. As the PodWave was designed for use with the iPod, it was assumed that one would adjust the audio volume via the iPod's click wheel. So, for use with the AirPOOT, you will control the loudness of the flatulence via the volume control in iTunes. You may want to practice at home to establish the perfect volume setting for your prank. You don't have to plug it directly into a wall outlet, you can use an extension cord if that helps the subterfuge.